I love me some Target, the numbers in my bank account don’t lie. I’m a Red Card devotee.
But sometimes I think the good folks up there in Minneapolis are trying to screw with us (yeah yeah, let’s see who we get to buy this!) or maybe the cold cold winters just screw with their heads a little too much. Either way sometimes you just want to take their purchasing department aside and offer them counseling.
Like with today’s email blast…. Let’s see what we have here, brightly colored plates that are too busy for my taste, dull monotone bowls that are too boring for my taste, standard issue porch rug, curtains from 1952 and oh yes… what looks like a bright orange paper mache deer – who’s had the shit scared out of it.
Someone with a highly covented job in the Target purchasing department saw this in a catalog or a design center and said “Yeah!! That’s what the fall decor line is missing.. Scared Orange Deer! People will be dying to get those home!”
(Note to Target HR department: Stop hiring people fresh out of design school! Yes they are cheap but they have absolutely no idea what they are doing – remember all those god awful high end “designer” children’s clothes that cluttered your clearance racks all spring and no actual child wore ever? Stop it!)
But back to the damn deer ’cause people, you know I had to click on that shit.
That’s right, it’s part of set with a turquoise dachshund and a pink poodle - that appear to be as big as the deer (no wait sorry the poodle is actually 3 inches taller) . A bright turquoise resin dachshund and a giant pink poodle! Well at least now we know what the hell the damn deer is so afraid of!
“I really wish I could find a bright turquoise dachshund I’ve been looking for one forever!” Said No Person Ever
I’m even leaving the giant red rooster and the woodland hedgehog nightlight along because seriously people they are trying to sell you turquoise weiner dogs!